


SSB: TAS episode 27: Racing!

by Quartz2006



Series: Super Smash Bros: The Animated Series [27]
Category: Batman: The Animated Series, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, Super Smash Brothers
Genre: Bad Jokes, Cars, Dirty Jokes, Driving, Fast Cars, Gen, Humor, Jokes, Original Character(s), Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-10-30 02:17:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20806877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quartz2006/pseuds/Quartz2006
Summary: The Bat-Family are teaching the kids how to drive cars! But... There is just one problem... SOME OF THE KIDS AREN'T OLD ENOUGH TO DRIVE!Note: I don't own the characters of the game, only the story





	SSB: TAS episode 27: Racing!

It was a sunny day at Gotham City. The birds piped, the leaves whoosh side to side, and a fat pig was walking down the road while making pig noises who weighs 1,000 pounds. "Oink oink!" Says the fat pig. 

Then it got hit and killed by a truck who Jean was driving. "Hahaha! You'll never beat me Eren!!" He chuckles as he turns his head to look at Eren who is right behind him.

"NOT UNTIL I'LL BEAT YOUR ASSHOLE!!" Eren yells as he pushes the brakes down hard and drives fast.

Jean took out a gun and pointed at Eren. "YOU'RE FUCKED UP!" He starts shooting the gun. Even dodged the bullets as he bumped into Mikasa.

"Eren. Just ignore him. He's nothing more than a show-off!" Mikasa declares.

"SHUT UP MIKASA! I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!" Eren yells as he bumped into Mikasa as she crashed into a tree.

Eren pulls out a tomato as he throws it at Jean's head. Jean lost control as he missed the ramp and smashes into a pole.

Eren then continues up a boost ramp only to crash into an invisible wall and fall into a trap with R.O.B in it that Luma made. “Hahaha! Take that titan!” Luma laughed as she drove away while chuckling.

Pichu was hitting a tree with the electric scooter he just bought for a couple of thousand dollars. “Hahaha! Look at me! I’m driving!!” Pichu says happily as he continues to hit the tree. Luma was about to pass Pichu when the big tree falls down on Luma. “NOOOOO! MY TOY- AHHHHH!!!” Pichu yells as he got hit by a bullet.

Connie went passed by Pichu as he blows the smoke out of his gun. He laughs as he drives his BMW X7 as he shoots some more drivers; some of them weren’t even driving. Connie is almost to the finish line until he saw Diddy Kong fixing his car that looks like a banana. Connie smirked as he approached Diddy Kong behind him. He pointed his gun at Diddy as he says, “Die you little shit!”

Diddy Kong looked at Connie and the gun with shock. When he remembered he got his wooden gun; that is 10x bigger than Connie’s gun, he took it out as he makes monkey noises. “AHHHHHHHH!!!!!” Connie yells as Diddy pulled the trigger and it causes an explosion. Connie's car was destroyed in the explosion.

“GOD DAMN IT, CLASS!” Ra’s Al Ghul yells in anger. “CAN WE JUST HAVE ONE NORMAL RACE?!

It turns out that The Bat-Family is teaching the kids how to drive vehicles. And so far, everything is going bad. “By the way….” Batgirl said. “WHERE’S KIRBY!” She started to panic but she saw Kirby getting run over by Pit a few times.

"IT HAS BEEN SEVEN ATTEMPTS AND NO ONE PASSED THE DRIVING TEST! AND YOUR MEDICAL BILLS ARE GETTING HIGHER THE MORE YOU GUYS MURDER EACH OTHER!" Batman yells.

"AND DON'T FORGET TO MENTION THAT WE ARE LOSING MORE MONEY TO BUY CARS FOR YOU KIDS!" Yells The Joker.

"Can we just fight?" Mega Man says. "It's less expensive and less car damage."

"SHUT UP ROBOT!" Killer Croc says as he punches Mega Man on the head. "Alright, since all of you love to hurt each other so much…. We're doing a battle royale!"

Stage one: Balloon Battle

The kids got some new cars because the old ones are destroyed. Kirby was shivering, he used to do the driving test when he was 9 years old.

Same goes for Toon Link (well, in his time, there were no cars) when he joined Smash, he drove a lot without any Smashers' permission. He normally got into serious trouble with the Hand, but he doesn't do that anymore. Maybe. "I'm gonna beat up you guys!" Says Toon Link. "You salad will be thrown by me!"

The kids looked shocked at Toon Link.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!!??" Yells Young Link.

"YEAH! YOU SO GROSS!" Luma shouts in anger.

"What is throwing the salad?" Questions Petra. Glover whispered into Petra's ear. "Oh…." Her face was blank with shock eyes.

Then the Bat-Family appeared in front of the kids as Poison Ivy says, "Rules are simple. Don't let your balloons pop. The last one holding wins!" She took out a whistle. Before she blows it, she says, "Ready…? And kill each other!" She blows the whistle as the kids drive crazy and going different directions.

Pit hide behind the other side of the wall as he got out his bow and arrow. He was going to attack Kirby, but he didn’t know it was a driving test. Kirby was still in fact, scared. Pit jumps out as he says, “SURPRISE BITCH!” As he shoots wildly at Kirby.

Kirby dodges the arrows like a cheetah until he got an arrow on his crotch. He whimpered as he says, “Ouch…..” then Pit kicked him and his Warp Star up to the sky. “AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!” he yells.

Ness droves and saw a star, he picked it up and he realized that it will make the car faster. “WWWWHHHHHHOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHOOOOOOO!!!!!!” Ness yells as he went so fast, he’s in the air.

“Why do I heard a faggot kid screaming?” Questions The Joker.

Meanwhile, Reiner and Bertolt were behind a wall as they both build a machine gun. “Alright. We just need one more thing so this gun can be the legendary gun!” Reiner says. Bertolt nodded as he took it and the two drive a truck that is huge. They saw Marco surrounded by banana peels on the floor.

“I’M INVISIBLE! INVISIBLE!-OOOUUUUCCCCHHHH!!!!” Maroc yells as he got hit by the machine gun that Bertolt had in his hands. 

Marco is knocked out!

The two laughed until they saw R.O.B sliding through the floor. The two laugh it out, and Bertolt points the gun at R.O.B. But as he shoots, R.O.B catches the bullet as the two screams like little girls. The robot throws the bullet at the two as the two flies into the sky while screaming. 

Bertolt and Renier are knocked out!

R.O.B clapped and cheered but then was bumped into a fast Ness. 

R.O.B is knocked out!

Ness went so fast, he landed on the floor as his face was a skull. He falls to the ground as Lucas saw what happened and fainted.

Ness and Lucas are knocked out!

Meanwhile, Mikasa was practising driving her motorcycle, but she was having trouble doing so. “How am I going to ride this?” She asks herself. “The teachers should have taught me how to ride this? Um? Machine?” she saw Eren driving through the road. She calls out to him but he didn’t listen. Mikasa frowns as she tries again with the motorcycle. But then she was crashed into and fall into a pit while screaming Eren’s name.

Mikasa is knocked out!

Back with Eren, he was listening to rock music as he wasn't paying attention to the road as his car hit more Smashers. He turns to the right but then saw Jean at the end. They stare at each other for a few seconds until Eren and Jean got out their swords and charged at each other while screaming. Then Kirby appeared in front of them while saying, “Surprise assholes! I’m not dead yet!” He throws thousands of banana piles on the floor. The two slip and went to the air. “Yay! I won-” Kirby cheered but he was crushed under the two cars that Eren and Jean ride. “My ass….” Kirby whines.

Eren, Jean, and Kirby are knocked out!

No one sadly won the Balloon Battle. “OH COME ON!!!!” Yells Harley Quinn. “WE GOT THIS STUPID TROPHY TO GIVE THIS TO SOMEONE!” she took out the trophy that looks like a dildo. “You know what?! Screw these kids' games! They aren’t decisive enough! It’s time for OUR own games!”

Stage two: The Screaming Assholes

Ra’s Al Ghul teleport the kids to a rock surrounded by lava. But this time, the kids all got motorcycles like Mikasa. The Bat-Family all appears in the air while floating the Bat-Hoverboard. It can carry all of them.

“Alright, you little shits!” Says the Joker. “All you have to do in this game is just… chill.”

Some of the kids whine while others sigh in relief. “That doesn't sound too bad!” Says Petra while smiling.

Then the Bat-Family got out their weapons while Two-Face says, “While we try to murder all of you! And one of you has to survive!” In his rough, deep, dark voice while smirking in a creepy way that children would love to run away. Speaking of children, the kids were shocked and some of their mouths were dropped down to the floor.

“Shit!” Sasha says.

The Bat-Family started to shoot at the kids while the kids are riding the motorcycles. The Joker played banjo music while he shoots a cannon at some of the kids. The kids scream and scream as Kirby yells in Russian, “PRIVOD SUKI PRIVOD!!! (DRIVE BITCHES DRIVE!!!)” As he falls into the ground as he got hit by one of The Joker’s cannonballs.

Kirby is knocked out! Again!

Marco drives without looking as he crashed into some kids, most of them fall into the lava while others lost their balance of their motors and fall into the hot floor. Marco was too stupid to even notice that he hit Jean as he falls into the lava. 

Jean is knocked out! Again!

“JJJJEEEEEAAANNN!!!!!!!!!!!!” Marco yells. He got angry and charged at the Bat-Family. But he was too stupid to even know that the vigilantes have their weapons in their hand as they shoot at Marco.

Marco is knocked out! Again!

Petra, Pichu, and Wendy were the last one to stay alive. Petra was shaking like crazy as her eyes show death; Wendy was just polishing her nails with red rose as she shoots at Petra; Pichu just plays with his scooter but was shot and fall into the lava

Pichu is knocked out!

Petra screams as Wendy laughs. “That is what the mouse gets for being annoying! Ha Ha Ha!” She laughs. Petra then turns mad. She started the motor as she charged at Wendy. Wendy took her gun and charged at Petra. The two scream until they were both shot and fall into the lava.

Petra and Wendy are knocked out!

“Yay! I won!” Tim cheered as he looked at the Bat-Family with happiness. 

But the rest wasn't. Batman lifted up his hand and punched himself in the face hard. “Ok. I think it was too difficult for you children.” The Bat-Family thought on the next test for the kids. “Are you sure Harvey?” Batman says.

“Yes I'm sure,” Two-Face whispered.

“Fine.” Batman turned around to face the kids. “Alright! This is the final test! If one of you passed! You’ll get the trophy!”

Final stage: Old Butler

The kids teleported right next to a park in Gotham City. Poison Ivy then announce. “Ok kids! This is a simple test! Take Alfred back to Wayne Manor and the one who those wins!”

Alfred was shocked. “But sir! I can walk to Wayne Manor and it’s not too far away!”

Batman whispered into Alfred ‘s ear. “It’s part of a driving test and be very careful. Some of the kids are stupid and violent.” Batman turns to face the kids. “Anyways. Get ready. Set. And go!” he swings the flag side-to-side

The kids crashed into Alfred as he yells, “MY OLD ASS!” as he falls to the floor. Luma grabbed him and just as she was about to put him in her car, Renier crashed into her and put Alfred into his truck. Toon Link took out his phone and called a sniper who was on the rooftop of a tall building. The sniper shoots at Renier as Toon Link picked up Alfred. Luma mutters as some kids passed her. She got an idea, she went into some random shed and got out a car that looks like a truck almost. She turns some rapper music. She went in front of Toon Link as she took out a bomb and throw it at Toon Link. She picked up Alfred as she drives away. Behind her were Lucas, Bertolt, Nana and Popo, and Kirby as they chase after Luma. Kirby accidentally hit a police officer's donut and that causes him to get mad.

Luma heard the police sirens as the Gotham Police department appeared in front of her. She turns to the left as the officers follow her. Some police officers shoot at some of the kids, like Mega Man, he called out to Pit but he was too busy hitting Kirby.

“I’M GONNA TAKE YOU HOME OLD MAN!!!” Yells Luma. Bertolt presses a button that makes his car jump and he crashes into Luma’s window shield. Luma screams as the two fought over Alfred until they crashed into a tree and Alfred falls out of the window as Nana and Popo caught him.

The two drive passed a lake, then Galacta Knight appeared with a mad look on his face and Kirby on his back. “Hey, Nana and Popo! Have you met my uncle Galacta Knight? By the way uncle! They were hitting their hammers on me the other day!” Kirby says.

Nana and Popo were shocked to see another warrior just like Meta Knight. “How are you doing?” Nana says sounding scared. Galacta Knight out his sword and attacked the Ice Climbers. Alfred was thrown away as he screams, then he crashes into the window of Wayne Manor.

“Ouch… that is going to be a lot of money.” The Joker says.

“Not now. Anyways it was close! But… we finally have a winner.” Batgirl took out a letter. “And the winner is… US! Because your kids can’t drive!” She gave all the kids the middle finger except Kirby and his uncle.

“Alright, kids!” Ra’s Al Ghul says. “Time for another round and then we’ll end the school day!” This cause the kids to scream and run away. Ra’s sighs. “Let's go get them…”

The End

**Author's Note:**

> If you don't know what "throw the salad" means, it basically women who want men to lick their donkeys.


End file.
